We've all seen those relationship bragalaxes. In fact, these are all too common. Girl or guy wants the world to see how amazing their significant other has been to them. These posts usually involve a combination of bragalaxes. (e.g., travel bragalax, foodie bragalax, etc...)
Examples:
Hotel combo Bragalax:
[blank] has the best husband ever. I had a stressful day and he just surprised me with a spa certificate to the shores hotel!♥
foodie combo bragalax:
Chocolate molten cake from scratch for [name] birthday! Yummmy (with pic included)
sympathy combo bragalax:
Just when i thought my day couldn't get any worse I received flowers from [blank]! Ohh I'm the luckiest girl in the world! :)
travel combo bragalax:
My husband bought tickets to Aruba! Best anniversary gift ever!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
sadalaxin
Every once in awhile, theres a person (girl) who is desperately trying to bragalax, but their own sad life just won't allow for it. These people have nowhere to go and nothing interesting to do. But in an effort to keep up with their far more interesting friends, they keep us updated on their complete lack of progress. Everyday tasks are transformed into noteworthy activities that serve only to depress everyone who reads it. Examples include:
"laundry laundry laundry now just got to put it all away....the baskets are overflowing with clean clothes"
This particular sadalax attempts to do the multiple, but with saddening consequences:
"Showered, eating lunch at home then getting ready for work...."
"spending the day inside in the AC with Brian waiting on Pizza Hut...."
"laundry laundry laundry now just got to put it all away....the baskets are overflowing with clean clothes"
This particular sadalax attempts to do the multiple, but with saddening consequences:
"Showered, eating lunch at home then getting ready for work...."
"spending the day inside in the AC with Brian waiting on Pizza Hut...."
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Name Dropping on My Bragalaxin
That's really cool that you know or met a famous person...
* @ stankonia studios listenin to big's new tracks and drinkin sake. ATL get ready for some hot new outkast shit!
* Next up - mtg Jill Biden this afternoon. Today is going to be a good day!
* Just hangin with Conan's band at silver skillet...
* Just met Coach Richt on the Senate floor. Wish my phone had a half decent camera...
* Just saw James Hetfield from Metallica at the Burberry store. SELLOUT.
* Is doing phone interviews with Susur Lee and Rick Moonen of Top Chef Masters later today—let me know if there's anything you'd like me to ask them!
Was I just Bragalaxin?
A subtle way to bragalaxin is to put your comment in a form of a question. This is generally associated with comments about traveling. This suggests to your readers that you are merely asking for suggestions, but when in actuality, you are just announcing to world that you are going to a cool place and that they are not.
Examples:
Not all Bragalaxins? are about traveling. Important questions about life should be posted:
The Chief Douche Officer
One of more common form of douchebaggery is the status update that attempts to play up the importance of one's own job. Typically, the people who might be able to get away with such boasts (doctors, architects, artists, etc.) are not the ones that dominate this category. Instead, an army of lawyers and mundane corporate types spew forth meaningless details from their work lives. The hope is that enough of their online friends are worse off career-wise, which can then provide them with some sense of self-satisfaction. Some examples include:
"Should I have prepared some kind of speech or introduction? Yes. Do I prefer to just wing it? Always"
Vague enough to elicit questions from those who fall for the bait to then reply with...
"No, just 30 attorneys and a journalist covering the event. Ugh, totally should have prepared. Epic fail."
"Pinch-hitting on amendments to Senate legislation at the Capitol this morning..."
"Back after a great and productive weekend in
DC. The Indian American Democratic bench of candidates and talent is deep."
"is a trial prep machine."
"You know you're working a proposal when a trip to CVS to buy cotton balls is the highlight of your day."
"Well it appears I have attempted to tackle yet another complex and multifaceted issue to research - lit search enters its 7th day. Time to stop reading."
"2 bedroom suite overlooking the ocean at the Westin diplomat...not too shabby! ahh I love my job!!"
"Should I have prepared some kind of speech or introduction? Yes. Do I prefer to just wing it? Always"
Vague enough to elicit questions from those who fall for the bait to then reply with...
"No, just 30 attorneys and a journalist covering the event. Ugh, totally should have prepared. Epic fail."
"Pinch-hitting on amendments to Senate legislation at the Capitol this morning..."
"Back after a great and productive weekend in
DC. The Indian American Democratic bench of candidates and talent is deep."
"is a trial prep machine."
"You know you're working a proposal when a trip to CVS to buy cotton balls is the highlight of your day."
"Well it appears I have attempted to tackle yet another complex and multifaceted issue to research - lit search enters its 7th day. Time to stop reading."
"2 bedroom suite overlooking the ocean at the Westin diplomat...not too shabby! ahh I love my job!!"
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Hotel Bragalax
Those who bragalax love to stay at the most expensively hip hotels in the cities they visit (usually NYC or LA, the 2 world capitals of bragalaxin). In addition to the obvious primary goal of showing everyone that you love to spend money lavishly on yourself, bragalaxin about one's hotel has the added secondary effect of indirectly bragalaxin about one's travels, which is probably the most bragalaxed topic of all time.
examples:
Five minutes=Time I spent at my $400 suite at the Soho Grand Hotel this weekend
This invites people to ask - what WERE you doing this weekend? To which the poster would reply:
"Spent most of my time in LES. Last nite got crazy at Gold Bar. Bypassed line, straight into VIP, chilled with Jay Z and Beyonce. Those guy's know how to throw down."
For those who are too poor, or just work too much at their super important job (the second most bragalaxed topic of all time), you can alternatively bragalax about drinking fancy cocktails at the lobby bars of hip hotels.
Full moon over Thompson Hotel on Drinkwater roofdeck in east village. Way too many prepositions.
Back at the gph...oh rose bar, I've been ousted as mayor!
note: GPH is bragalax slang for the Grammercy Park Hotel. This is a brilliant bait technique, inviting comments from lady friends asking what GPH is. To which the bragalaxer would reply:
Just a hotel in Grammarcy Park. I would have stayed there but I left my Amex Black card in the glove box of my Porsche back at the VIP lot at the airport.
Bragalax Combos: Advanced Techniques
The hotel + important job bragalax: The accidental Ritz upgrade is a nice unintentional birthday gift from the firm...
The hotel bar + Porsche Bragalax: rarely get upset anymore when the Ritz Carlton jacks up my Porsche and then denies it ever happened. And we never landed on the moon either.
The rare triple bragalax: an advanced technique which incorporates not one, not two, but THREE popular bragalax topics (travel, hotel bar and foodie).
Priorities for this weekend (in order): 1. the High Line; 2. pork buns and/or noodle bowl at Momofuku; 3. Jade Bar at GPH.
examples:
Five minutes=Time I spent at my $400 suite at the Soho Grand Hotel this weekend
This invites people to ask - what WERE you doing this weekend? To which the poster would reply:
"Spent most of my time in LES. Last nite got crazy at Gold Bar. Bypassed line, straight into VIP, chilled with Jay Z and Beyonce. Those guy's know how to throw down."
For those who are too poor, or just work too much at their super important job (the second most bragalaxed topic of all time), you can alternatively bragalax about drinking fancy cocktails at the lobby bars of hip hotels.
Full moon over Thompson Hotel on Drinkwater roofdeck in east village. Way too many prepositions.
Back at the gph...oh rose bar, I've been ousted as mayor!
note: GPH is bragalax slang for the Grammercy Park Hotel. This is a brilliant bait technique, inviting comments from lady friends asking what GPH is. To which the bragalaxer would reply:
Just a hotel in Grammarcy Park. I would have stayed there but I left my Amex Black card in the glove box of my Porsche back at the VIP lot at the airport.
Bragalax Combos: Advanced Techniques
The hotel + important job bragalax: The accidental Ritz upgrade is a nice unintentional birthday gift from the firm...
The hotel bar + Porsche Bragalax: rarely get upset anymore when the Ritz Carlton jacks up my Porsche and then denies it ever happened. And we never landed on the moon either.
The rare triple bragalax: an advanced technique which incorporates not one, not two, but THREE popular bragalax topics (travel, hotel bar and foodie).
Priorities for this weekend (in order): 1. the High Line; 2. pork buns and/or noodle bowl at Momofuku; 3. Jade Bar at GPH.
Douchey Foodie Posts
Douchey Foodie Posts deserve their own category of bragalaxin.
One reason I will venture OTP: to taste all the samples at the dunwoody Alon's Market.
One reason I will venture OTP: to taste all the samples at the dunwoody Alon's Market.
I just saw a live lamb being carried out of Miller Union ... I guess that's what they mean by farm to table ... literally!
Watemelon pisco punch @abbatoir...hits the spot. Love watermelon this time of year!
En route to New Orleans! Looking forward to viddling on delectable oily seafood
Dear Momofuku, please stop letting me eat your pork buns. i'm addicted.
the roasted duck was very one note.
Doucheception
Inception has spawned a great deal of bragalaxin, although it does very little to point out the poster's wealth or social circle. Instead, the bragalaxer here is attempting to prove out their own good taste by agreeing with thousands of critics and millions of movie goers via bad dream jokes (or the obvious hipster backlash - to hate on the thing that everyone else likes).
"My dreams have become so vivid that I sometimes cannot distinguish memories between the real and the subconscuous. And I haven't even seen "Inception" yet. Or have I?"
"The ending of Nolan's "Inception" was transparent if you followed the visual clues."
This post was later clarified when someone inevitably asked what the clues were...
"The age/condition of Saito near the end and the lack of a "kick" for Leo at the deepest layer dream provides your answer."
"sleep will never be the same after seeing Inception this weekend"
"dreamt that I slept all the way through Inception. then I woke up and it was still fucking playing. mindfuck."
"My dreams have become so vivid that I sometimes cannot distinguish memories between the real and the subconscuous. And I haven't even seen "Inception" yet. Or have I?"
"The ending of Nolan's "Inception" was transparent if you followed the visual clues."
This post was later clarified when someone inevitably asked what the clues were...
"The age/condition of Saito near the end and the lack of a "kick" for Leo at the deepest layer dream provides your answer."
"sleep will never be the same after seeing Inception this weekend"
"dreamt that I slept all the way through Inception. then I woke up and it was still fucking playing. mindfuck."
Welcome
Bragalaxin:
1) The art of boasting recent experiences, happenings, or personal dilemmas via social networking mediums. Bragalixin can be used to flaunt oneself in an indirect and subtle manner.
2) The art exhibiting how cool or significant you are while seeking external validation though feigned nonchalance. It is a skillful way of saying something very douchy while maintaining a hint of innocence.
Examples:
Damn I hated the traffic this morning. Had to sit on Peachtree St. with my foot on the clutch the entire time. At least I worked out my left calf. The new Carrera has a heavy clutch.
Love flying business class international. It's the only way to fly if I have to fly commercial.
The meal at French Laundry was absolutely exquisite but will never compete with my mom's mac & cheese.
Some bragalaxirs like to intentionally leave ambiguouty in their posts. This is merely bait for their friends to comment asking questions to clarify...
Example:
Forgive me if I plan on unwinding a little tonight: Monday I met my billable hours requirement for the year, Tuesday Kasim was elected, (Wednesday and Thursday craziness I can't talk about publicly), today a hearing in Superior Court and filed two motions for summary judgment that have consumed my life for more than a month. Someone pass the bourbon...
this begs the question "What kind of craziness can you not talk about?"
to which the bragalaxer would reply...
"Went to Tongue & Groove Wednesday night and was invited into the VIP section to chill with Jermaine Dupre and Usher. Those guy's know how to throw down."
1) The art of boasting recent experiences, happenings, or personal dilemmas via social networking mediums. Bragalixin can be used to flaunt oneself in an indirect and subtle manner.
2) The art exhibiting how cool or significant you are while seeking external validation though feigned nonchalance. It is a skillful way of saying something very douchy while maintaining a hint of innocence.
Examples:
Damn I hated the traffic this morning. Had to sit on Peachtree St. with my foot on the clutch the entire time. At least I worked out my left calf. The new Carrera has a heavy clutch.
Love flying business class international. It's the only way to fly if I have to fly commercial.
The meal at French Laundry was absolutely exquisite but will never compete with my mom's mac & cheese.
Some bragalaxirs like to intentionally leave ambiguouty in their posts. This is merely bait for their friends to comment asking questions to clarify...
Example:
Forgive me if I plan on unwinding a little tonight: Monday I met my billable hours requirement for the year, Tuesday Kasim was elected, (Wednesday and Thursday craziness I can't talk about publicly), today a hearing in Superior Court and filed two motions for summary judgment that have consumed my life for more than a month. Someone pass the bourbon...
this begs the question "What kind of craziness can you not talk about?"
to which the bragalaxer would reply...
"Went to Tongue & Groove Wednesday night and was invited into the VIP section to chill with Jermaine Dupre and Usher. Those guy's know how to throw down."
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